Just mADE A PArabola og urine
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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