He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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