Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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