Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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