it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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