watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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