my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
