He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
