and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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