that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
