do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
