I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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