Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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