That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
