what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
