i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
