i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
