After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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