fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
