I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
