Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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