i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
