Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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