Dual....:-)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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