Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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