he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
