Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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