I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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