paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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