so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
