I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
This house was built for laser tag.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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