The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
