Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
you never un-have a 4some
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
