if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
