Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
