thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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