Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
