whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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