Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
