the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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