a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
