dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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