so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
