I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
