do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
