yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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