this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip ๐๐๐
Your skills amaze me
Youโre going to be a doctor, and Iโm going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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