Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
