I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
