I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
