Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
