OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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