I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
