the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
