dude i'm inner monologue high
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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