Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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