the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
