thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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