What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
