Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

Fav 22 6342 950
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(417): View more from Missouri

And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?

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(864): View more from South Carolina

theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college

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(248): View more from Michigan

No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

(336): View more from North Carolina

Did it work?

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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(416): View more from Toronto

We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.

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(713): View more from Texas

Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!

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