Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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