So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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