i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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