I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Randomize
