god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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