i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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